Each day that goes by that I talk to H, I just get more and more excited about doing this!
I have always been a fan of reading birth stories. One in particular that I read recently gave me butterflies. It was a surrogacy story, written by the surrogate. It wasn't a home birth but a planned induction hospital birth. I was reading through it and imagining what my journey is going to be like. It will be in a different setting, but deep down it's the same, it's a surrogacy. The surrogate was detailing the pain of labor and the exhaustion of pushing. She was starting to lose focus at one point and wanted to give up, but then she saw the mother who this baby belonged to standing behind the shoulder of the doctor. She had happy tears in her eyes as she was witnessing the birth of HER baby, finally! That moment gave the surrogate more strength. She pushed the baby girl out. They placed the baby on the surrogate's chest and she stated "You hurt! But wow... you look like your brother!" I then pictured what would be my first words to this baby, this baby that isn't my own but will come out of me. I remember the first words I said to my own children. With my daughter I said "You're so hairy!", because she was full of hair! With my son I said "Oh my gosh, you're so tiny!", because he was smaller than his sister.
It is fun to think about these things and how this pregnancy and birth is going to be a completely different experience for me. I'm not scared at all. I am full of excitement and joy!
After the surrogate had birthed the baby girl, she was taken to the warmer and cleaned up. A nurse brought the baby back to the surrogate and placed her in her arms. She looked over at the new mother and said "She's yours!" and lifted that new pink bundle into her mother's arms.
Wow! At this point I had tears in my eyes. What a powerful moment! I couldn't help but imagine H and I in a similar moment months from now. It's just an amazing feeling and it hasn't even happened yet!
I seriously cannot wait to see this baby in his/her parents' arms. To see the look in their eyes of happiness and love for this baby, a baby that I helped create specially for them that they have waited YEARS for!
You will not want to miss this! It's going to be Epic! :)