Deeper Impact

I knew when I decided to start this journey that it would impact my life forever. I knew the lives of the IPs would be impacted forever. Once I learned the IPs had two daughters, I knew their lives would be impacted forever.

It wasn't until tonight that I realized the impact for their two daughters goes deeper than receiving a new little brother or sister. They are daughters, they are sisters, but they are also potential mothers.

I have mentioned earlier that we are planning a home water birth. A birth of this kind is rare today in the U.S, although homebirth is on the rise, it is still hardly talked about. It is rarely seen in the media, actually what is seen in the media is a controlled hospital birth with interventions and the mother usually screaming in a lot of pain. This is not how all births go, nor is it what is normal.

T & J (IPs daughters) are old enough to understand where babies come from. T started high school and J started middle school. They already have an interest in birth and babies, from what I have been told they enjoy watching youtube videos of  births with their mother. I think that is fantastic! I think that will help prepare them for this baby's birth.

I am hoping they both will feel comfortable enough to be involved with the birth. I wouldn't be opposed to them seeing their baby brother or sister be born. I wouldn't be opposed to them cutting cord if they wanted. I think that this opportunity for them to see a live normal natural birth will impact them so deep that when it is time for them to become mothers and choose where/how they want to birth, they will remember that moment. They will remember me being calm, relaxed and full of light during labor and birth. They won't (hopefully) remember the women on tv screaming and cursing at their husbands for doing "this" to them. They will have a joyous memory and experience to look back on.

I am very honored to be able to not only give this wonderful family a child that they all have wanted for so long but also to teach two young women that birth is normal. It doesn't have to be what is seen on tv, it doesn't have to be scary, it is not always chaos. It can be peaceful and gentle when you let your body do what it was designed to do.


I'll end with one of my favorite quotes....

"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong."
                                                                                              - Laura Stavoe Harm

Ready for Regular Season!

It's official, I did ovulate! This was the last "pre-season" egg before we prepare for regular season.

If you are lost, I am a football fan ;)

CD 20 YAY!!! AF is due around Sept 4th so that makes for hopefully a last weekend in Sept (24-26) conception for H & M!

I am so excited!! I am feeling so ready to do this!

It's on the move!

This afternoon gave me a positive OPK! The egg is on the move soon!

I have been feeling dull aching pains on my left side since yesterday. :) 

Today is CD 20, cervix is high soft and open! 

Yippee! This cycle is looking great! I hope and pray next cycle goes just as well! 

I think we are still on track for a late September conception as long as AF isn't stubborn to come like last month :p

I still haven't heard anything from the OB regarding my Pap results. I hope that means everything is normal and my abnormal result in July was just a fluke. I will call them next week to be sure. 

I can't believe it's almost time! 

Good Morning

My OPKs have been looking better this month. I think my fertility is stronger this month because I gained a couple pounds to put me more in the normal range. In the past I have noticed how my weight affects my fertility so I wanted to make sure my weight was not going to be a factor for surrogacy.

This morning was a nice wake up :)

Today is CD 19. I will take another OPK around noon today and then again in the evening before bed. I am expecting the line to get darker. If they do get darker then I can expect ovulation around CD 21. This is a great improvement than the previous month!

It is exciting to know that this is the last egg before we start trying :)

Moving Forward...I hope!

Sorry it has been so long since my last post. I have been busy trying to get my business started as a birth doula and  placenta encapsulationist. The journey has been slow right now though.

I did get another pap smear last week. I was told by the OB/GYN that if the results were bad, I would receive a call in about a week and if things were fine I would get a letter in the mail. I did not get a call today, one week exactly, and I haven't received a letter either, so I am hoping this is good news because of no call!

I am on CD 17 of the last "practice" cycle. I am feeling the fertility signs and I started using OPKs again this month. They are looking promising so far but no positives yet.

I have gained 2 more pounds to bring my weight up to 110lbs. I think the more weight I gain, the better it will help shorten/normalize my cycle. My goal is 115-118lbs, that is right around where I was when I got pregnant with both my children.

Hopefully I hear the official results of my pap smear in the next couple of days and we can finally get the contract signed :)

I am definitely ready for the next step!

slight hiccup

I received the results of my Pap smear and it showed abnormal cells. I was not expecting that kind of news and I have never had an abnormal Pap before but I am going to get it re-done this coming Thursday in hopes it was just a false positive. I know a few women, including my own mother, that had an abnormal then it turned out to be nothing.

I just started my last practice cycle before our planned insemination cycle in Sept/Oct last week. My cycles have been longer than I had hoped so I might ovulate too close or in Sept during this last practice, which would put us in October for conception. Not a big deal. It would mean a July baby, like me :)

If my Pap comes back with the same results, I will have to put my surrogacy journey on hold and seek treatment. I am staying positive though and hoping for the best!

If you pray, keep me in them.

Thanks!