I knew when I decided to start this journey that it would impact my life forever. I knew the lives of the IPs would be impacted forever. Once I learned the IPs had two daughters, I knew their lives would be impacted forever.
It wasn't until tonight that I realized the impact for their two daughters goes deeper than receiving a new little brother or sister. They are daughters, they are sisters, but they are also potential mothers.
I have mentioned earlier that we are planning a home water birth. A birth of this kind is rare today in the U.S, although homebirth is on the rise, it is still hardly talked about. It is rarely seen in the media, actually what is seen in the media is a controlled hospital birth with interventions and the mother usually screaming in a lot of pain. This is not how all births go, nor is it what is normal.
T & J (IPs daughters) are old enough to understand where babies come from. T started high school and J started middle school. They already have an interest in birth and babies, from what I have been told they enjoy watching youtube videos of births with their mother. I think that is fantastic! I think that will help prepare them for this baby's birth.
I am hoping they both will feel comfortable enough to be involved with the birth. I wouldn't be opposed to them seeing their baby brother or sister be born. I wouldn't be opposed to them cutting cord if they wanted. I think that this opportunity for them to see a live normal natural birth will impact them so deep that when it is time for them to become mothers and choose where/how they want to birth, they will remember that moment. They will remember me being calm, relaxed and full of light during labor and birth. They won't (hopefully) remember the women on tv screaming and cursing at their husbands for doing "this" to them. They will have a joyous memory and experience to look back on.
I am very honored to be able to not only give this wonderful family a child that they all have wanted for so long but also to teach two young women that birth is normal. It doesn't have to be what is seen on tv, it doesn't have to be scary, it is not always chaos. It can be peaceful and gentle when you let your body do what it was designed to do.
I'll end with one of my favorite quotes....
"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong."
- Laura Stavoe Harm