You are making a baby how?

Today I was faced with some criticism about my journey and about using at home insemination as our method, so I would like to clear things up.

M, the Intended Father has been tested for infectious diseases, such as HIV and Hep B. I have seen the report, it's real. The man is CLEAN. He loves his wife, he's faithful, he's not out participating in dangerous activities. If he was, that would have turned me off from matching with them! 

H & M are not "virgins" to all this. They've been down this road before, it didn't work out then for a reason that was no one's fault. 

H & M have tried adoption, they were placed with two baby boys at two different times but BOTH times, the birth mother had changed her mind and took the baby back. It wasn't anything H & M did that didn't give them that baby.

They have been cleared by the state and have had recent home inspections etc. in order to adopt a baby. 

They are WONDERFUL! They LOVE their current children! They DESERVE a baby! 

Before meeting with them, I went to the doctor and was tested for infectious diseases also. All my tests came back clean. I'm also in a faithful marriage and do not participate in dangerous activities. If "I" did then H & M wouldn't have matched with me! 

I'm healthy and clean, and M is healthy and clean. Together that will equal a healthy disease free child ;) 

So How does At Home Insemination work? You ask. 

Here are some very easy to read instructions, from www.fertilityplus.org

NEEDLELESS SYRINGE METHOD

Supplies needed:

1.    Needleless syringe or oral medicine syringe

2.    Collection cup, baggy or condom

3.    (Optional) Saline without additives or preservatives

4.    (Optional) Tube to attach to syringe

5.    (Optional) Mild germicidal soap

You can ask your doctor for a needleless syringe or you can buy an oral medicine syringe at just about any drugstore or in Wal*Mart near the children's thermometers. Buy the syringe with a plunger, not a bulb end (not the mini turkey baster!). The syringes work pretty much the same way. One that is maybe 4 inches long, or longer, is probably best. The oral medicine syringes have about a half inch narrow tip on the end. You can attach a catheter (thin tube) to either kind of syringe but you don't need to and it may waste more of the semen to use one.

a) Take a clean or sterile glass or plastic cup, baggy, or collection condom and have the male ejaculate into it. You'll probably have better luck getting the semen out of a cup since you could suck the baggy or condom up to the syringe and block the opening, but you may get a larger sample with the baggy or condom. You can use a tiny bit of saline, without additives/preservatives, to help get as much sperm as possible into the syringe, but you don't need to worry too much about leaving a little behind. If you are using frozen sperm, you need to ask the sperm bank for directions on thawing.

b) Draw back on the syringe once with nothing but air, then push the air out again.

c) Draw back on the syringe again, but this time have the end of it in the semen -- the vacuum created by pulling back on the stopper will suck the semen into the syringe.

d) Try to tap out any air bubbles since you don't want to inject air into your vagina. You can do this by slowly rotating the syringe until the opening is facing up. Tap the air bubbles to the top and them push the plunger in on the catheter just a small amount -- enough to get rid of air w/o squirting semen out.

e) Get into a position where you can either stay comfortably for a half hour or can get into the position w/ minimal movement. Ideal is to either have hips raised or to lay on your side making sure your pelvis is canted (usually hips provide natural angle if you hips are wider than your waist, but if your bed, or wherever you are lying, is soft, you may want to put a pillow or two underneath your hip).

f) Slowly glide the syringe, or catheter, into the vagina until it is close to the cervix -- but do not try to get it into the cervix and do this gently. Your goal is to coat the outside of the cervix and to deposit as much sperm as possible as close the cervix as you can get it.

g) SLOWLY inject sperm. If you do it too fast, it can squirt out of the vagina or at least spray away from the cervix.

h) If you are concerned about wastage in the syringe, you can use some saline, without additives . . . add some to the syringe, shake it a bit, get the air out, and inject. This is not necessary since there probably won't be enough wastage to be of concern.

i) Try to have an orgasm -- Some suggest that using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation produces a bigger, more powerful orgasm. Use whatever method works best for you (unless it requires lots of water!). The orgasm helps the cervix dip into the vaginal pool and suck up sperm -- it helps get more sperm up there, and may speed sperm travel. Avoid penetration (as in intercourse or with vibrator). This falls in the can't hurt, might help category.

j) You can use water and a mild germicidal soap to clean your supplies if they will have time to dry completely before re-use, or run very hot water over them. Otherwise you can use saline to clean everything.

Timing for this kind of insemination is the same as for intercourse -- if possible. The best timing is the day before LH surge (as detected with an ovulation predictor kit), day of LH surge, and next 2-3 days, the last day or two being insurance. If you don't have all those options, the day of the LH surge and the day after are best.

The advantage to this method is that you don't need any fitted equipment! You don't even need a speculum (though you can use one).

The success rate is the same as with intercourse, perhaps a bit less because there are usually fewer opportunities for insemination and timing may not cover the bases as well.

I hope this helps you all understand this process of at home insemination better. Yes it's EXTREMELY AWKWARD, but those 30mins of awkwardness laying down with my hips in the air trying to think welcoming thoughts about an egg and sperm are all worth it!

At home insemination is not taboo in the surrogacy community, especially for a traditional surrogate.

If you have any other questions that have not already been answers in the Q & A at the bottom of the page, please comment with them and I will answer them for you. 

Thank you!